Some say in the late hours of the night in Shrekville, that the spirits of the dead rise from the grave. Others say that the robots will eventually rise up to destroy the human race. Some even say that a strange man is living in a wizard tower somewhere deep in the forest…

My point is, lots of people make up things and say that they’re true, and this week’s events are no exception.

Late last week, someone by the name of “Truth Seeker” began commenting on Shrekville facebook pages and on this very community board, saying that the Shrekville Mayor’s office is performing secret “blood sacrifices”, unknown to public eye.

As an honest reporter, I just want to clear the air… the claims made by this person are without any sort of evidence. It has become clear to me while browsing their recent posts on different facebook pages that they are, undeniably, making this up.

Not only has this person NOT backed up ANY of their claims with any sort of evidence… the fact the Mayor’s office could be performing blood rituals in the first place without anyone knowing is simply stupid. (And yes, I use that word sparingly.)

My point is this: this so-called Truth Seeker is a troll, just trying to scare people for his own amusement. We’ve seen this kind of stuff before, folks… So take it from me, and just ignore these posts when you see them.

Maybe next time, I’ll have some juicier news to report…  but until then, this is Neil Goldman, signing off.

EDIT: So it seems my usually-excellent reporter intuition took this for less than it was. During the night of September 25th, 2023, this Truth Seeker broke into the home of local judge Judith Blum (known more commonly as Judge Judy), and attempted to kill her in her sleep. Now, while this seems crazy, I don't think it's anything to worry about... unless you're part of the Shrekville city government, that is.

This Truth Seeker has made it clear that he has some sort of vendetta against Shrekville's Mayor, Mayor Luigi. I contacted several members of the mayor's office to try to collect more information, but all of them declined, so sadly I don't have a great scoop this time around.

For now, the identity of the Truth Seeker remains a mystery. But I have a hunch that we'll find out who they are soon enough. Until then, this is Neil Goldman... ACTUALLY signing off this time.